You ≠ Me

Proofreader of the chapter : Dracolot

Koko : Say...Yateveo. Can I ask you something?

Yateveo : Depends on the question.

Koko : How old are you?

Yateveo : …..Come again?

Koko : How old are you? Simple as that.

Yateveo : And here I thought scientist has a way to judge the age of a tree.

Koko : That would require me to cut you down to see your growth rings, are you willing to let me do that?

He said with his hand gripping on an axe and turning his head toward Yateveo menacingly.

Yateveo : Cease. I’m not so sure myself since I wasn’t really keeping track of time to this day but... I’d say about 500 years at worst and 4000 years at best. My mental age is locked at about 18 tho.

Koko : That sounds like you’ve accidentally achieved immortality to me.

Yateveo : ...Is it the goal of the alchemist like you?

Koko : Not really, more like a stepping stone. Not just for alchemist but also for magus and scientist. Simply put, the human lifespan is not long enough for us to learn and discover all the knowledge we want. Of course, we sort of bypass that by passing our knowledge down to the next generation and hope one day they will find it...the holy grail of everyone who sort knowledge. The theory of everything. But this method has one big problem…

Yateveo : They are not you, isn’t it?

Koko : Yup, biologically they are only half of you. Then your grandkids are quarter of you. And before long, they will not be anything “you” in your descendants. But it does seem you are immortal now, correct?

Yateveo : No...we are not immortal. We just live in a different time scale than you. We do die from old age but it’s difference compared to your definition. Mostly because trees grow differently to animal like you. Trees grow indeterminately, meaning that with the right conditions, they can grow and grow and grow, with only the laws of physics limiting their height. But the longer we live, the more chance we’ll face disaster that will kill us.

Yateveo : You could say that instead of dying by age-associated diseases, we die by simple statistics instead.

Koko : I see...next question.

Yateveo : Wait, you have another question?

Koko : You hate humans, especially those in the salem...why don’t just let melting love do its thing? You don’t care about human anyway.

Yateveo : That’s an easy to answer one. If anyone gonna burn that place down, it’s gotta be me. I’m not gonna let a random pink slime take away my revenge that turn me into this that easily otherwise it would be lame….anymore questions?

Koko : Nah, that’s it.

Yateveo : My turn to ask then.

Koko : OH NO

Yateveo : How old are....we got another weird stuff invading my forest again….

Koko : Melting love minion?!

Yateveo : I don’t think so, it look like a...what did you call it again? Robot? Yeah, look like a robot to me.

Koko : What.

Yateveo : Huh? He knows about Snake? What! HOW DI--- Oh...Time to welcome another guest, Koko.

It doesn’t take long until Yateveo leaves and returns with Mazriel.

Koko : Who are you…?

Mazriel : We can talk about that later! Evacuate the nearby city. Engage all defenses and get the mansion man an army!

……………………………………….........................................

Meanwhile….

??? : We finyawwy meet…

Snake : So you actually talk like that...oh dear…

In front of Snake is the biggest pile of pink jelly he ever seen in his life. Inside it are a horrific amount of bone and skull of human and monster alike. It’s pulsating constantly create an uncomfortable sound as if this place were inside of a beast stomach.

Contrast to all of that of that horror however is the figure spiring atop the pile. Feminine in shape, pink goop in material, speak owoified word and acting as if it’s a cute child.

Melting love…

Snake : So...what is the matter you’d like to talk with me about?

Melting love : I just want to tawk to anyothew swime wike me ^w^  It's wawe to see anyothew sentient swime, you knyow?

Snake : ...What?

Melting love : ...What owo?

Snake : Are you saying I’m a slime?

Melting love : Yes?

Snake grabs and squeezes his arm and tapping around his body to check his skin.

Snake : I’m a human tho. My body is flesh not jelly.

Melting love : Don't wie to me >w<  You just use that wuman body as a puppet >w<  I knyow that because I use that technyique many times befowe (・`ω´・)

Snake :.........What?

Melting love : owo… You don't weawize you awe swime?

Snake : I...ah...I...don’t believe it. I admit that I have memory issues but if I really am a slime, I should be able to go all hierophant green and raising a country of monster or something.

Melting love : Don't play dumb with me.

The tone of Melting love voice suddenly changes as if the waves stop crushing upon the shore.

Melting love : When a part of me touches your right hand, I can see...sense your true form. A mass of deadly disease try to act like a normal human? What are you? A wolf pretending to be a dog?

Snake : ...I don't care who I really am. I will still protect humans who I care for, they have helped me and made me experience the joys of life. What are your goals anyway? You burn down a city and take over human bodies. If you just want to live a quiet life, that is definitely not the way to go.

Melting love : My goal? Don't you worry about it~ I am doing what is beneficial to humanity~ I "love" humans after all.

Snake : The people killed by your doing would like to have a word on that one.

Melting love : Let me tell you what my grand plan is all about then, maybe you will see my honesty and stop getting in my way.

Snake : Fine...but give me a sec.

Melting love : ...What are you doing?

Snake pull out a pot somehow hidden under his cape and pours some water and kernels in it before starting the fire.

Snake : I'm making popcorn and nobody can stop me.

Melting love : ...Why?

Snake : Well, you are about to start your long BBEG's talk and there are no skip button for me so munching on some popcorn while you are doing that is the next best thing for me.

Melting love : Popcorn?! At this time of year, At this time of day, In this part of the town, localized entirely in front of my face? You making popcorn in front of me!?

Snake : Yes.

Melting love : Don't you fear me?

Snake : No?

Melting love : ...Can I have some of it?

Snake : ...No, no eating while talking.

Melting love : F...Fine! My plan is to unify all the humans!

Snake : Wait, so you want to conquer the whole world and rule it?

Melting love : Well yes but actually no.

Snake : Elaborate...nom nom nom…

Snake starts to eat the popcorn he cooked.

Melting love : You see, I love humanity! Humans are my creator after all~ But human civilization…is a badly designed system…

Snake : Go on. Om nom nom.

Melting love : There is something call discrimination. Biological wise, it makes sense for an social-intelligent creature to have it so they can distinguish friend from foe.

Melting love : But this trait has lingered in humanity for far too long. Couple that with the ability to lie and ignore other people's feelings, it's has caused so much disaster and tragedy over the course of mankind history.

Snake : But we remember those ugly pasts and try to avoid them right? That's why history class is a thing.

Melting love : And they are really bad at it...but don't worry! I have found the root of all human conflict and found a way to solve it!

Snake : Well, tell me about it then. What is the root of humanity’s sins.

Melting love : You are not Me.

Melting love : It is a very simple answer really. That is why we don't trust other people. That is why we betray each other. That is why we can kill each other.

Snake : So what? Are you gonna kill all humans except one?

Melting love : No no no~ That is just a pure silly way to solve the problem! There is a much simpler way to solve this problem if you look at the previous formula.

Melting love : I’ll just change it so Everyone is Me.

At that moment, Melting love revealed her abominable true from, as the faces of various men, women and children taking shape on every surface of melting love's body.

Snake : …You truly are a monster.

Snake instinctively knew that those faces are the faces of people who melting love have killed.

One of the faces of melting love : Don't call us that~ We still remember everything in our past life you know~

The other face : At first we wanted you to join us~ But looks like you are just a germ here.

Snake : Welp, looks like this will be the last bit of popcorn for today.