This is a novel now

In a certain pipe of Salem’s sewage system…

Oni imp A : I move the knight to E3

Oni imp B : Outstanding move. Well played!

Two imps are peacefully playing a game of chess. There is nothing that can ruin this mome--

Crumble...Crumble…

Oni imp A : What was that noise?

Oni imp B : I don’t know? An earthquake?

CRASHHH!!!!

Suddenly, the wall behind Oni imp B exploded, the debris from the explosion immediately annihilate Oni imp B. The cloud of dust slowly disperse and reveals a headless humanoid machine and a man covered in green cloak.

Oni imp A : A-A-AN INTRUDE--

Slap!

The Man in green slaps the oni imp. Causing it to be confused.

Oni imp A : Did you just slap me?

Snake : Omae wa mou shinderu.

Oni imp : NANI!?

It didn’t take long until that imp to begin coughing out blood, stumble on the ground, stop breathing and began to rot.

Mazriel : Damn, I'm so glad my body is made out of metal not flesh.

Snake : And I’m so glad my enemies aren’t.

Mazriel : Anyway, let’s advance.

Mazriel’s hands start to spin and begin to carve away the sewer walls. Meanwhile, Snake diligently kills any monster trying to stop them from the rear.

Mazriel : May I ask where did you learn all this combat technique? You seem to be so skillful in killing these monsters without much of a hassle.

Snake : Being a townguard has it’s perks you know? We train vigorously to deal with all sort of bullshit for example : your everyday thief, some adventurer trying to break all the pots in people’s house, some adventurer trying to kill us for “experiences”, a stray monster wanders too close to the town, a random adventurer accidentally attracts a horde of monsters towards the town, Murderer trying to commit murder spree and killing horrible abomination of flesh created by some crazy old man.

Mazriel : Is your town’s name Darkshrine by any chance?

Snake: No, it’s name is Mais. A humble town, best known for it’s rice production.

Mazriel : Oh, I see.

Another wall had fallen, revealing more slimy horror and infected monster. But before they can get close to the marvel of engineering, Mazriel’s laser beam immediately kills or incapacitate them. He then return to busting another hole in a wall.

Mazriel : We’re almost  there. Just a few tunnels away from the main hub.

Snake : About time! The amount of monsters are beginning to become troublesome!

BAM!!

Mazriel : SEIZE YOUR RESISTA-- what…?

Snake : WHAT HAPPEN OVER THE-- what? Why monster are retreating back?

Mazriel : I think the answer is right in front of me.

In front of Mazriel is a slime holding a wooden sign with crayon writing on it. It read

“Stop owo  I want to tawk with the gween man awonye.

In wetuwn I'ww stop attwcking you peopwe UwU.

-Mewting wuv”

Snake : This is...strange…

Mazriel : Yes, I can’t read it.

Snake : Wait, you can’t read?

Mazriel : I do not recognize this as human language.

Snake : They a bunch of misspelled words. Don’t you have Autocorrect function or something?

Mazriel : We all know autocorrect sucks and I don’t have time to improve it yet so I just shut it down to avoid any awkward situation but I suppose, let’s try...oh. This is strange indeed.

Snake : Should we comply with this one?

Mazriel : Well...if you were to go face to face with Melting love... What should i do while you’re having a tea party or something with it?

After Mazriel finishes his sentence, the slime flips the sign around and puts it down on the ground. It then pulls out a crayon and starts writing.

Snake : Ah, it’s writing a reply.

Mazriel : It does look kinda cute until you realize this monster is capable of melting flesh.

Snake : Ah, look like it misspelled some words. It uses it own body as an eraser.

Mazriel : But isn’t it’s writing style are misspelled in the first place?

Snake : Then maybe it writes correctly at first, and proceeds to misspell it?

Mazriel : But why?

Snake : Probably because character identification. I mean there's a lot of types of people in the world after all.

Crank!

Mazriel : Uh, it throws the sign away? ...it’s making a new one? It actually have a carpenter skill?!

Snake : Maybe it decided to rewrite the whole sentence again because the first one didn’t work out.

Mazriel : Are you sure it’s writing a reply to us? Its not like it’s trying to write a novel right? Look at it go! It erases and rewriting the sentence again!

Crack!

Both : Aa…

Mazriel : The crayon broke! The crayon somehow cracked into two pieces!

Snake : Maybe because it got melted by it own hand…

Mazriel : It and is shaking! It seem to be frustrated by it!

Snake : It’s uses a rock shard nearby to sharpen it back up again.

Mazriel : I wonder how much determination it has left.

Snake : …huh

Mazriel : It seem to finally get a grip on writing.

Snake : ...Aa

….The crayon…runs out…before it can finish it last sentence.

The slime slowly grab a few wooden boards, nails, and a hammer then proceed craft a table and lay itself down under it.

Mazriel : SLIME LOST NOT JUST THE CRAYON BUT IT WILL TO LIVE TOO?!?!?

Snake : This is so sad Mazriel play despacito.

Mazriel : I’m not Alexa! And why are you joking about the slime’s failure!?!

Snake : Witness me.

Snake walks up to the depressed slime. The slime look back at him. He holds up one of the wooden board and use his demonic green-right hand index finger to carve the message on it…

Snake’s sign : How about this uwu? try using your acid to melt the owood owo!

The slime vibrates. It starts to grab the wood and write down on it with it finger(?)

Slime’s sign : Thawnk you owo!

[Faith in humanity restored]

The slime begin to start writing again.

Slime’s sign : In wetuwn fow such viwtuous action, I wiww spawe you desu uwu!

The air suddenly got tense and then the slime flip the sign around to show another message.

Slime’s sign : The wobot man can go whewe evewy you want even outside this pwace. Aww I want is to a wittwe tawk with the gween man uvw hewe

Another sign pop up from the back of the slime.

Slime’s sign : This is nyot a nyegotiation. This is a demand. (・`ω´・)

When Mazriel and Snake realize what’s going on. Both of them are surrounded by the symphony of monster and slime.